Streetlights and Sunrises
by lovedegrassixx
Summary: In the eyes of Jess Mariano. What would life be like if he had shown up to Rory's graduation.
1. Chapter 1

**Streetlights and Sunrises.**

**The streetlights outside of my window shine on the pages of the book. my eyes dart back and forth to comprehend the words on the pages, but I can't seem to concentrate. I look over to the bed in my small apartment where she is sleeping peacefully. Her pale face contrasted with the slight darkness around her. **

**I never thought I would get the girl. I had screwed up so much in my lifetime that I didn't deserve her. She didn't need me to screw up her life. And even after I left her and broke her heart she still chose me, after everything, all of the guys she could've had she chose me. Some days I still look back on when I came back to see her. I had only been gone for a few days and couldn't stand being away from her. So I showed up at her graduation.**

_Flashback:_

_I stood in the back of the crowd, watching as she made her way to the stage. I was so happy that she valedictorian, no one deserved it more. Her speech was incredible, hell it even had Luke in tears. Don't get me wrong I was pretty teary eyed too but I was on a mission. Suddenly she looked straight at me. The first time she noticed I was there and she just stopped. She took a breath and kept going. I didn't listen to the rest. Instead I went inside the school and sat down on the extremely large staircase. _

_Soon after it was over. I waited a tad bit longer and then she came into the school. _

"_Hey you made it." she said happily._

"_Yeah, I uh, came back."_

"_Why?"_

"_As much as I hate Stars Hollow, California was MUCH worse."_

"_Really? I thought California was totally awesome dude."_

"_Yeah no."_

"_So are you going to retake your senior year?"_

"_During summer school. Then I am going to take courses at the Community College and switch over to a four year college somewhere down the line."_

"_Sounds like a plan."_

"_Yeah. You still going to Europe?"_

"_Yeah but not for too long. Only a few weeks. Grandma and Grandpa won't let us backpack so we are going on a cruise that goes to London, than to Italy and Greece. Then we'll fly home from Greece."_

"_Wow sounds fun."_

"_That it does."_

_We walked out of the school and into the parking lot. There really wasn;t anyone left. All of Rory's family had gone back to the Gilmore house for a town party celebrating her graduation. We got into her silver Prius and drove back to Stars Hollow. _

_Once we got to her house we sat in her car in the driveway._

"_Hey Jess?" She asked._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you think European coffee tastes good?"_

_End flashback._

**Even now I still chuckle at her addiction. That day was only the beginning, sure we were together previous to that day but after that our relationship matured, and so had we. More problems were going to come our way but no matter what we were ready and were always going to be there for each other.**


	2. The Problems Begin

**The Problems Begin **

**We spent the whole summer together. On weekdays I spent half of the day at school making up courses, then on weekends we traveled. A lot of the times we just went to the beach. Yet things got a little more complicated when school came back around. Rory was at Yale and I was at New Haven Community College just to be near her. We got an apartment together and money was very tight. Even though we both had jobs, they didn't pay well and we were both full time students. This lead to our first fight.**

_Flashback:_

_Almost Famous was on HBO and we were on the couch just watching it when the lights went out._

"_Jess, what happened."_

"_I don't know, let me go down stairs and see what happened."_

"_Okay."_

_I walked out of our apartment door and saw that everyone else on our floor still had their lights on. So then I went back inside and decided to get to the bottom of it._

"_Uh, Ror, I think only our lights went out."_

"_What are you talking about, didn't you pay the bill?"_

"_I thought you did."_

"_No this month you were supposed to pay it. The schedule is on the fridge. I paid for food and other needs and you were supposed to get utilities."_

"_No I paid utilities last month."_

"_Jess, last month I paid it remember? You bought the groceries each week and anything else we needed around the apartment."_

"_Damn! I am so sorry I forgot."_

"_You can't just forget to pay the bills Jess. We have our own place we have to be responsible adults. I can't believe you could be so irresponsible!"_

"_Jeez Rory chill. I screwed up okay, I know that but it's not a big deal."_

"_It too is a big deal! What's going to happen when you have a house and a family and you 'forget' to pay the bills? You can not screw up okay? Now if you will excuse me I have to go call the electric company from my cell phone so I can straighten this all out. After that I'm going to see my mom and maybe staying there for a few days."_

**That was our first huge fight and I did not like the feeling of fighting. So for the few days that she was gone I looked for another job.**

**Right now I was just a sales clerk at a local store making 3.50 an hour.**

**So I took a week long bartending class and got my bartenders license. Then I began working at a bar in Hartford that had a good steady pay and really good tips. I worked Friday and Saturday nights, so there on the bills were paid. Then another problem came about.**

"_Hey Jess, you want to hang out tonight. Some people from school invited me and you to go to a club tonight._

"_Rory I can't I have to go to the bar and work tonight."_

"_Oh okay, maybe some other time."_

_She was really disappointed but I really needed to work so that we could pay all of our bills._

"_Why don't you go."_

"_Really? You don't mind?"_

"_Not at all. You're hanging out with friends, why should I deprive you of having a life because I have to work."_

"_Okay. I didn't want you to feel left out."_

"_Not at all, have fun. Just don't stumble in at 3 in the morning drunk okay?"_

"_I won't don't worry. I'm designated driver tonight."_

_**She grabbed her keys and left that night. She had been acting a little weird for a few weeks at the time and I had no idea why. It's like we're spending too much time apart. Either with school or work or visiting family we have no time. I knew that it was a problem but I had no idea how hard she was taking it.**_


	3. Leave Me In The Morning

Early morning fights

**I got in around eleven o' clock that night and Rory still wasn't home. When she came home I was in for quite the surprise.**

_Flashback:_

_It was 2 a.m. I was dosing off yet not fully asleep because Rory still wasn't home. I tried calling her cell phone 5 times and no answer. Suddenly I hear the door slam and someone giggling. _

_Quickly I jumped out of bed to see who it was although I knew it was Rory. What surprised me was that Rory wasn't alone. Some blonde guy was carrying her as she was half passed out in his arms. _

"_Hey man, I'm Logan, I'm in Rory's Literature class."_

"_Hey I'm Jess. What happened to her?"_

"_Well, we all got to the bar everyone began to drink. Except for Rory and I. Then this girl Ellen from my business class dared Rory to take part in a drinking game. Where surprisingly she beat all of them, having about 13 tequila shots. Then she moved on to having 3 mudslides and a few beers."_

"_You just let her drink all night."_

"_Who am I to stop her. She's a big girl I think she can handle herself."_

"_Okay man, thanks for helping her out tonight. I really appreciate it."_

"_No problem. Tell her I'll have coffee waiting for her Monday morning and Lit. class."_

"_Yep."_

_Then Logan walked out of the apartment. Rory somehow found her way to the bathroom and began with the hangover. I got a bottle of water and some aspirin and helped her to bed. After I took care of her I grabbed a pillow and a throw blanket and set up for a night on the couch._

_I wake up at 6 a.m. to see Rory making coffee and holding her like she's in pain._

"_Hey sleepyhead." she greets._

"_Hey, how's the hangover?"_

"_Don't remind me. I have no idea what I was thinking last night, I guess I'm just stressed from finals."_

"_Yeah I guess so."_

"_No you know what I am not only stressed about finals."_

"_Well what else is bothering you?"_

"_Us."_

"_Us?"_

"_Yes jess, us! I can't do this anymore. We are so dysfunctional it's not even funny. We never see each other anymore and when we do we barely do anything together, we pay bills and do schoolwork."_

"_Rory, we will have plenty of time to be together right now we just have to get through school then we can get jobs and then enjoy life."_

"_No Jess. You know what all of my friends do. They go out on weekends. Parties, Pubs, Clubs, the whole nine yards. While I sit in our apartment until 1 a.m. waiting for you to get home. I just want to hang out with my friends and my boyfriend."_

"_Well what the hell am I supposed to do Rory? I am trying as hard as I can. I know I screw u and I do things the wrong way. But I am trying. You want to go out? Go out. Last night you went out and were so irresponsible."_

"_Dammit! For once I don't want to have to be the responsible one. The one who has to remind you to pay the bills or to get ready for school or go to work or go get the groceries when you forget. I am 19 years old and I'm acting like I'm 35! I just want to go to school and have fun, and I feel like we aren't doing well anymore."_

"_So what do you want to do Rory. Are we just giving up? Are you giving up?"_

"_Yes. For now. I just need time to breathe and think and have some freedom."_

"_You have more freedom then I do."_

"_Sure whatever."_

"_So do you want me to move out?"_

"_No you can stay here, there's an extra room in Paris' suite that I applied for."_

"_You planned this?"_

"_I reserved it just incase."_

"_Whatever."_

"_Do you mind if we se other people?"_

"_I don't think you need permission, we're not together anymore."_

"_Don't be mad at me."_

"_Too late. Have fun with Logan, your drinking buddy."_

"_Jess, don't do this. Do not slam this in my face."_

"_I am not. Now I am going to go out, I'll be out for about 3 hours. I would appreciate it if you would pack your things and leave. Please leave your key on the kitchen table."_

"_Fine."_

"_Goodbye Rory."_

"_Bye Jess. I didn't mean to hurt you."_

"_Yeah? Well you did."_

_I walked out of the apartment and when I cam back 3 hours later, all traces of Rory were gone._

_End Flashback._

**That morning still haunts me. I hate thinking about Rory leaving me, she was the one thing I could count on in my life and she walked out on me. We didn't talk for a while after that and it hurt a lot not having her there.**


	4. Reunited and it feels so Good

**Ok to anyone who read this story I am so sorry for not posting in so long. With school and writer's block this was the farthest thing from my mind. Sorry, sorry, sorry!!!**

**Moving On is Hard to Do**

**Without Rory at the apartment, I felt helpless; I had no idea what to do with myself. I decided I needed to get out of there. Everywhere I turned I saw her face, memories of every little thing she did. How she made dinner at the kitchen counter, the way she would curl up and read on the couch, so simple, yet so beautiful.**

**I honestly had no idea it would be so hard to get over her, I even went back to Star's Hollow for a little while just to clear my head. Little did I know she would also be there, and closer than I thought.**

_My car was almost out of gas and I was so tired, instead of bothering Uncle Luke at his house, knowing Lorelai would be there, I just went to the diner and to the upstairs apartment. It looked almost exactly the same, my bed, and the bureau were all in the exact same spot. Someone had been there though. The sheets and blanket on my bed were all messed up and there was a glass of water on the bedside table._

_The apartment door slammed and at first I thought it was Luke, I knew sometimes he came up here if he needed a set of tools, or if Lorelai got angry with him some nights._

_Much to my surprise the person who came in was not Luke._

_Rory looked like a deer in headlights, her blue was surprised to see my face._

_"Jess?" She gasped, like I was a ghost._

_"Uh, hi Rory."_

_"Uh, I have to go."_

_"No, no, you stay; I was uh just leaving anyway."_

_"Oh, okay, sure, no problem." She stuttered on her words as if she didn't know how to talk._

_"So, how've you been Ror?"_

_"Please, Jess, I would prefer if you called me Rory."_

_"Fine then, how are you RORY?" I put extra emphasis on her name, somewhat hoping to get a rise out of her._

_"I'm pretty good, still living right? How about you?"_

_"Eh, I'm okay, could be better though."_

_"Oh, I see."_

_For about five minutes we just stared at each other, around the room, at our feet. This was way too awkward, and so intense, I mean why was seeing her such a big deal?_

_"How did it come to this Rory? Look at us, monosyllabic wusses who can't even have a civilized conversation with each other! This is ridiculous!"_

_"Not really Jess. Didn't you think it would be awkward, what with us having that fight before I left! Did you think it would be wonderful to see each other again? Did you think that we were going to be great friends? Did you think that I haven't been hurting since I moved out?"_

_Tears rolled down her cheeks and I knew that it still hurt her the way it hurt me._

"_Are you with him?" I asked softly not wanting to come off angry._

"_No, we tried going out but I couldn't do it. He's too much like an older brother and I, uh, I'm still not over you."_

_Those words told me everything. That even though we fought, and even thought we both screwed up so badly, we could still work things out. _

_She looked up at me with sad, hopeful eyes._

"_Jess, please say something." She pleaded._

"_Ever since we had that fight I've been kicking myself for letting you go. I've tried moving on but can't even bring myself to go out with anyone. The reason I thought it wouldn't be awkward is because I thought I would never see you again."_

"_Jess, it's Stars Hollow, your uncle married my mom, I think we would have seen each other once or twice, don'tcha think?"_

"_I guess it was a possibility." We both smiled at each other and I stepped closer to her._

_I pulled her body close to my chest and wrapped my arms around her. It was amazing having her in my arms again._

"_I don't want to rush into things again." She said to me._

"_No problem, we'll take it one step at a time._

_That night I drove back to New Haven and Rory stayed at the diner, only after promising me we would hang out tomorrow._

**As cliché as it sounds Rory and I really made up like that. The next few months were simple, but none the less amazing, I don't think I've ever had that much fun in my life. Even though her friends didn't exactly like that we were together again. Well, some of them didn't.**


End file.
